What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

TEXT:

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

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Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

What is the nastiest thing you had your wife do and she loved it?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

What did Starbucks and Dunkin' Donuts do wrong in Sweden?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

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I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Why does Hollywood (except Atilla and Agora) ignore the Late Roman Empire in favour of the early one?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Which is the best protein water in India for muscle gain?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Is it okay for a wife who comes home from a date to tell her husband what she did?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

In Italy, how do people greet each other when they meet for the first time (e.g., on the street)? What's a good response to that greeting if you're not from Italy or don't speak Italian fluently yet?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Orchestral Music: How well synchronised in time do musicians have to be to sound as if they are playing together?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

What is the best eye serum for dark circles?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

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Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.